Slayers: Lost in the Big City
by crystalight33
Summary: What happens when Lina, Gourry, Zelgadis, Amelia, and Xelloss end up getting trapped in New York with no magic?? Whatever will they do? *NEW* Gourry goes on a date! But with who?
1. It starts

slayers

Note: I do not own any of the slayers characters. Nor do I claim Burger King or Macy's.  
  
**  
**

Slayers: Lost in the Big City  
  
Chapter 1: It starts  
  
  
  


Lina cast the spell at Habwaithia, a big, green, frog-like monster with wings. The fireball consumed him, but all he did was laugh. Habwaithia was a somewhat powerful monster pillaging the kingdom of a wealthy ruler who had hired Lina to get rid of him. Helping her was Gourry, Amelia, Zelgadis while Xelloss watched in the distance.  
  
Amelia started to cast a Ra-Tilt. At the same time, Zelgadis also started to cast a Ra-Tilt. Lina, at the same time chanted, _Darkness beyond twilight; Crimson beyond blood that flows...._  
  
  
  
  
  
DRAGON SLAVE!!!  
  
It all came out in the same instant. Of course the monster was destroyed, but the 3 powerful spells kept destroying. Instead of destroying outwards, however, they began to implode. They swirled around each other faster and faster creating a tornado effect. Before anyone could do anything, Lina started to get sucked in. Gourry shouted and grabbed her leg. As he began to slide, they passed Zelgadis, who was not having any problems keeping his footing because of his weight. Gourry grabbed his arm, causing Zelgadis to start sliding inch by inch until Amelia got blown into him, knocking him off of his feet and subsequently into the tornado. Xelloss shrugged and followed them just as the cyclone imploded in on itself with a pop' leaving the countryside in silence.  
  
Lina fell first, followed by Gourry who fell on top of her, then Amelia on top of him. Zelgadis fell next causing versions of Get off, you damn rock! to be yelled out. Xelloss landed gracefully on top of the pile, but lost his balance and fell to the ground.  
  
Lina, from the bottom of the pile began, _Darkness beyond twilight; beyond blood that flows; Buried beyond streams of time Is where your power flows. I pledge myself to conquer All the foes who stand Before the mighty gift bestowed In my unworthy hand. May all the fools who stand before me be destroyed By the power you and I posses. DRAGON SLAVE!!!_  
  
Nothing happened. Of course, no one was on top of her anymore. They had all gotten off when she started the spell. Lina looked confused. What's the big deal?? she asked. None of our powers seem to work in this dimension, Xelloss said cheerfully. How interesting. he added. Mister Xelloss, where are we? Amelia asked.  
  
Gourry, who had already been looking around when the others where trying to cast spells commented, These are pretty weird looking mountains.  
  
The others looked up and were awestruck. Those aren't mountains, said Zelgadis, they're buildings of some sort.  
  
Wh-what would be able to build such tall buildings? Amelia asked. What I want to know is who needs such tall buildings? Lina said. A few moments of silence went by before Zelgadis said, Well, we won't find out by just standing here. So, they proceeded down the alley and around a corner only to be awestruck by something else. They had emerged onto a busy street where there were people as far as the eye could see.  
  
This is more people than the whole population of Sailune. said Amelia. This is more people than 5 times the population of Sailune. Zelgadis replied. What do we do now? Gourry asked. Lina looked at the river of people. We go with the flow. And so they did. They walked (or were jostled) for a few blocks before they turned down a less crowded street.  
  
You know what? said Gourry.   
  
Now I know how a sardine must feel. Everyone face-faulted. Oh! Miss Lina, look! Amelia was pointing one of the buildings. There was a normal sized door with normal looking people walking in and out of it. They all looked at each other, shrugged, and walked into the building. They didn't know it, but they had walked into a bank. They walked up to a teller. May I help you? she asked. Gourry looked excited. We want to get back to Sailune! The teller looked dubiously at their clothes, I figured you weren't from around here. So, I'll take it you want a loan. Well, we have a fixed rate 4.25% APR equity loan that might work. Everyone stared at her and sweat-dropped. Oh, do you just want to exchange some foreign money? So, they all put their money together and ended up with a grand total of: $3,000. The teller handed them the cash and said, Well, it's not enough to catch a flight to...uh....salumme, or whatever, but you can probably get an apartment and get jobs and you'll be back in sailmoon in no time.  
  
ITS SAILUNE!!!! Amelia cried, And I'm the princess!!! Oh, I'll never get home and see my daddy ever again!!! She covered her face in her hands and turned into Zelgadis' shoulder and began bawling. Zelgadis tried to be comforting. Come come, it could be worse. You could be made of stone, cursed by fate to wander the world with a heartless monster, a brainless swordsman, a child princess, and an ill tempered, er, very powerful sorceress... The last bit was prompted by a growl from Lina. The teller was looking at them queerly. Uh, here is an apartment advertisement that might work for you....here, you can even call them on my telephone. She pushed the phone towards them. They all stared at it and sweat-dropped. I suppose they don't have phones in sackfoon. That only caused Amelia, who was still leaning against Zelgadis, to sob louder. Zelgadis sighed. The teller showed them how to use the phone. She also had to give them a map, show them how to use it, and take them up to the top floor to try to cheer Amelia up. Once they finally left, the teller went back to her desk muttering about putting in a 2 week notice.  
  
They made it to the apartments with only a few mishaps. When they got there, the tenant was outside waiting for them. What took?? I'm a busy man, got things to do! he exclaimed. Everyone sweat-dropped. Well, anyway, I expect the rent to be paid on the first of the month....AND NO EXCEPTIONS!!!! Everyone face-faulted. Now, I'll lead you to your apartment, he said grumpily. He led them upstairs and down the hallway to room 221. Here. This is it, and he unlocked the door and then handed a key to everyone. He then left, grumpily. Geez, this guy is worse then you are Zel! Lina commented, to which Zelgadis face-faulted.   
  
They walked into the apartment (which to their good fortune was furnished) and stared in awe at the things inside.  
  
Lina went over to the kitchen and started to explore. She found the refrigerator and opened it up. Oh, it's cold! She moved to the sink and managed to turn on the faucet and was startled when water came out. Then, she moved on to the stove and started turning dials. Unfortunately, her cape was on one of the burners and caught on fire. Ahhhh!!!! HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT!!!!!! She ran around the kitchen and remembered the sink and stuck her cloak under the still running water. She then glared at the stove as if it were evil.  
  
Meanwhile, Zelgadis had been looking at the TV wondering what it was for. All of a sudden, the screen flashed and it turned on. Zelgadis staggered backwards, startled. Xelloss, who was holding the remote said,   
  
Amelia had decided to explore the bathroom. She looked at the sink and saw two knobs, one had an on it and the other a She turned the one that said and was fascinated when water came out. She stuck her hand under it, and then pulled it away in pain. Owww! That's hot....oh, I get it, Hot means H. She smiled, pleased at her self. She turned the knob again until the water stopped and then turned the knob and wasn't surprised when cold water came out. She then decided to see what would happen if she turned the knob while the knob was turned. She stuck her hand (carefully) under the water and noticed it was lukewarm. She turned the knob more and the water became delightfully warm. She then turned the water off and looked at the tub. She found two more and knobs. She turned both of them until the water was warm and she noticed a lever ontop of where the water was coming out. She pulled it up and shrieked when the shower came on. She scrambled backwards and stared at the water going everywhere. She went back and turned off the shower. A rainshower indoors... she murmured.  
  
Gourry was looking out the window. Career center...find a job fast.... he said. Hey Lina! he called, Didn't that lady say we needed to find jobs? Lina, still a bit shaken nodded her head and came to join him by the window. Looks like that's where we need to go then doesn't it.  
  
Why's that? She smacked him. Jellyfish for brains!!  
  
So, no more that five minutes later, they were at the front desk of the career center. The lady gave them tests to take to see what they were best suited for. Once everyone was finished, they were told to come back in an hour or so. So, what now? Zelgadis asked. Lina's stomach growled. We eat!! They wandered around the streets until they came upon a little chinese restaurant where a sign on the front that read All you can eat buffet, only $4.99. So, that's where they stopped, and Lina and Gourry pretty much took care of the whole buffet.  
  
They went back to the career center. The lady at the front desk led them to a little conference room where a guy came in with their results. All right. You people are a little unusual, but we did manage to find jobs for all of you. First, Gourry, we managed to get you a job at Burger King. Lina, we got you a job as a sales clerk at Macy's. Amelia, you are going into the police force. Zelgadis, we got you a desk job in an executive building. And Xelloss....er....we aren't quite sure why you aren't in jail because you have the personality of a serial killer according to our test, but found you a job as a minute maid...you know, a maid that cleans peoples houses.... um...alright! he said as everyone just stared at him. he said, looking dubiously at their clothing, you might want to go shopping for some new clothes. There is a store across the street.  
  
So, after getting directions and basic descriptions of their new jobs, they set out for the clothing store. Lina and Amelia had no trouble deciding that shopping was fun. Amelia dissapeared into the dressing room under a heap of clothes (most of which were pink) and finally decided on a little pink skirt and a simple white blouse. Lina decided on a brown skirt and an off-white tank top with a long sleeve brown sweater to go over it. Zelgadis came out in a greyish black business suit. Gourry came out in blue pants and a short sleeve black tee shirt. Lina asked, Gourry, did you just take off your armor?   
  
No! Look, that funny looking guy who doesn't move is wearing the same thing that I put on. he protested. And sure enough, a manaquin was indeed dressed up in Gourry's exact outfit. Xelloss came out last and everyone sweat dropped as they saw him. He was wearing very baggy jeans and a shirt that had plastered on the front. He also had on a bright yellow ski cap with written on it as well. So, do you like it? he asked. everyone replied. Oh, you guys are no fun. he replied glumly. So after Xelloss had picked out a more outfit, they went back to their apartment for some much needed rest.   
  
That night, Lina could not get to sleep, so she got up and went into the living room and looked out the window. She found Zelgadis in the living room as well. Couldn't sleep either? he asked. She shook her head. You know, I think Amelia is right. We're stuck here with no magic and I can't think of anything we can do to get back to _our_ world.   
  
Now that sounds like something _I_ should say, he replied smiling. Great. We're stuck here magicless and now Zel is rubbing off on me! Next I'll start journying to far places by myself, speaking to no one, and earning the reputation of heartless swordswoman.   
  
Surely I'm not _that_ bad! he said chuckling. No, you're worse was her reply. So, beautiful sorcery genius Lina Inverse, what do we do now?   
  
I guess we just play along. She then yawned. I guess I'm tired after all. Hey Zel, thanks for cheering me up.   
  
Thats what friends are for. And with that she got up and left.  
  
  
Please tell me what you think!!!! Review please!!! I have some very cute ideas for this story, like everyone but Zelgadis gets sick with the chickenpox so he has to play nurse....and another one where they somehow end up on the Jerry Springer show.... Please review and tell me if you want me to go on!!


	2. Our first day on the job! Oh the horror!...

slayers 2

Chapter 2  
  
Our first day on the job! Oh the horror!!  
  
  


BUZZZZZZ!!!!!!!! Lina shot up like an arrow, wide awake. she directed at the offending alarm clock, then face faulted when nothing happened. Amelia rubbed her eyes and grabbed the clock and searched for the off button and found it. Lina groaned and layed back down. Come on Miss Lina! We don't want to be late for our first day! Lina groaned but got up and yawned.   
  
In the next room, a loud KISS song suddenly blared from the alarm clock, shaking the whole room. All the guys jumped three feet off of their beds and landed on the ground. Zelgadis was the first one to the clock and slamed his fist into it, crushing it and causing it to shut up. Gourry stared at it and said, Is that how it's supposed to work?  
  
Lina was scrounging around the kitchen trying to find something to eat. Amelia just sighed and sat down on the sofa, accidently sitting on the remote. The tv came on and Amelia sat up again startled. On the tv was an old John Wayne western movie and it was in the middle of a gun fight. What kind of evil thing is this? she asked as the actors made some overdramatic death throes. We must go help them! I, Amelia Wil Telsa Saillune, will not allow such cruelty! Justice must be served! she said while making her victory' pose. Whoa, chill out Amelia. Look, it isn't even real. See that guy, he just got shot, but now he's up again like nothing ever happened. He isn't even bleeding. Lina noted. Oh, well, I suppose you're right.... she said, eyeing the tv warily.   
  
The guys then came out into the living room, dressed and ready to leave. We really should be going, Xelloss said. Uh, Lina? Gourry asked hesitantly. What do you want?  
  
Where am I going again?  
  
Argh! For the last time, you are going to Burger King because you have a job there!  
  
Have I been there before?  
  
No, you idiot! That is why I'm going with you, so you don't get lost!  
  
Zelgadis sighed and asked, Now, who is taking the subway' again?   
  
Me and Jellyfish brains over there, Lina replied irritably. Zelgadis muttered. The three of them left to go figure out exactly what a subway was followed shortly by Amelia and Xelloss.  
  
Once at the subway station, Zelgadis went up to the ticket counter and got their tickets. Fortunatly, Lina had to get off at the same stop as Gourry. They got to the ticket barrier and Zelgadis, watching the others go before him, fed his ticket into the little slot and walked through just fine. However, he had only taken a few steps when he heard, Hey Lina! It ate my ticket!! Give it back!!!!! followed by some banging. He turned around and grabbed Gourry by the wrist and pulled him through the barrier saying, It's _supposed_ to do that. Once Lina had made it through the barrier, they went to wait for the train. While waiting, there was a guy with headphones on that started to stare at Zelgadis. He took off his headphones and asked, Hey, dude, is that like a tattoo or something on your face? Zelgadis sweat-dropped. he said. The guy nodded and said, Hehe, cool, and put his headphones back on. Zelgadis, who had been holding his breath, let it all out, but then the guy took his headphones off again and asked, What about your hair? How do you do that?  
  
Uhh....I got it from my grandfather? he replied unsure. The guy nodded again and put his headphones back on. The train then decided to come and Zelgadis had other things to worry about. Lina watched as it sped by and exclaimed, We're supposed to get on that?? Zelgadis was about to say something, but the train slowed to a stop and the doors opened. Hey, neat! How'd they do that? Gourry asked and walked into the train. Hey, wait up! Lina cried running after him. Zelgadis just followed them in and the doors closed behind him. He had just enough time to hear, Please grab a handrail. when the train started moving and managed to stay on his feet. Lina and Gourry were not so lucky. And what made it worse was Gourry landing ontop of Lina. YOU PERVERT! GET OFF ME! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOUR TAKING ADVANTAGE OF AN INNOCENT GIRL WHEN SHE CAN'T DEFEND HERSELF! GET OFF ME! Everyone in the train had their ears covered and was glaring at the pair struggling to get back on their feet. Once they did, Lina grabbed onto a pole near Zelgadis and he could see her knuckles turn white from her grip. After a little while, the train came into another station and stopped. When Lina made no move to get off, Zelgadis reminded her, Lina, isn't this your stop?   
  
Oh yeah! Hey Gourry, come on! She grabbed his wrist and pulled him out of the train. Zelgadis shook his head as the doors shut and the train started moving again.   
  
Once they made it to the street, Lina had no trouble finding the Burger King and because she had had no breakfast, she became Gourry's first customer. She was in the middle of getting her order when Gourry said, Hey Lina, don't you have a job too? Her reply consisted of grabbing what she had of her food and running out the door saying, I'm late! They're gonna kill me!  
  
She ate her food on the way and had just enough time to eat it before she was at Macy's. She walked in the door and was in awe of how big the store was. Because she was looking at the ceiling instead of where she was going, she accidentaly walked right into a middle aged woman. Hey grandma, watch where your going! she said. The lady just hmphed and started going on her way when Lina asked, Hey, do you know where I can find the manager. I'm new here.  
  
I am the manager and you must be Miss Inverse. Well, Miss Inverse, your late. That is your first warning. Next, watch where you are walking. I can't have you walking into my cutomers. That is your second warning. Now, follow me. She led Lina up into the lingere department and showed her what she was expected to do.  
  
Zelgadis meanwhile, was seated in a cubicle in front of a desk with a computer that he didn't know how to use. Which is why he was having to listen to a very obese man explain to him how to use a computer while eating a donut and occasionally spitting crumbs on him. In other words, he was _not_ having a good time. When the man _finally_ left, Zelgadis got to work. A short while later, an older woman with a coffee pot came by and noticed him. Hey, you must be the new guy. I can let you borrow a mug today, but if you want coffee tomorrow, you'll have to bring your own mug. Before Zelgadis could say anything, she left and came back with a neon pink coffee mug filled with coffee. She smiled. That's what I'm here for. Sorry about the color, but it's all we have. She patted him on the head in a motherly fashion, but got pricked by one of his wiry hairs. Hey, you might want to lay off the hair gel, she said as she put her finger in her mouth. Zelgadis sweatdropped.  
  
Clad in a blue police officer outfit, Amelia was being given a grand tour of the police station by the police captain. Her eyes were all starry as she looked at all the bad people being brought to justice. As her tour concluded she asked the captain, When do I get to start fighting in the name of truth, love, and justice and begin ridding the world of evil? The captain looked at her funny. Well, you can start by ridding my office of the evil stentch of garbage and then you can go over to the elementary school and fight for truth, love, and justice by being a crossing guard. Amelia face-faulted.  
  
Xelloss was in his pink little apron (the one from NEXT) and had a bandanna in hair. He was vacumming the carpet while his fellow maids bustled around him saying stuff in Spanish to eachother. He noticed the owner's cat huddled under a sofa with only it's tail sticking out. As he got near the couch, he vaccumed the cat's tail. The cat yowled and shot out from under the couch like lightning. Xelloss looked after it and said, Oops, did I do that? The maids who had been looking angrily, just shrugged and got back to work.  
  
  
  
  
Hey guys. Sorry about the format of the last chapter, I hope this one is a little easier to read. I LOVE THE REVIEWS!!!!!! Thank you so much. As you can see, I followed the advice of those who gave it.....except the chipendale dancer one.....which I am probably going to use in a later chapter *grins evily*. Also, for all you Zelgadis fans, Halloween is coming up and Xelloss just *happens* to have the bunny outfit from NEXT for Zelgadis to wear at his company Halloween party....Muhahahaha! Well, please PLEASE keep the reviews coming and thank you for reading my first fanfiction! 


	3. No Please! Not the Chicken Pox!!!

slayers3

**Chapter 3**  
  
**No, please!!!! Not the Chicken Pox!!!!!!!  
**  
  


Mrs. Wilson, a third grade teacher at the elementary school, decided to teach the last lesson of the day outside in the beautiful fall weather. She sighed. Teaching this lesson outside didn't make it any easier. One of the children in her class had recently gotten the chicken pox, so she knew that most of her students would be getting it over the course of the next week. She picked a spot under the shade of a tree and had her students sit down. She was about to start talking when their new crossing guard waved and came over. Mrs. Wilson forced a smile. While the new crossing guard, Officer Amelia, was very good with safety, she tended to be a little....overenthusiastic.  
  
Ahh, Officer Amelia, would you like to sit with the class and learn about chicken pox? she asked. Sure! Is that some kind of dinner? Amelia asked. Mrs. Wilson thought she was joking and said, No, silly! It is a virus. Chicken pox is like a cold, only little red dots pop up on your skin and are really itchy. But, you can't scratch them at all. A good thing to do to keep from scratching is wearing gloves. Also, your parents can buy some calamine lotion to help the itching. Calamine lotion is pink lotion that will make the itching stop. She talked for a little while longer, but then the bell rang and it was time for the children to go home.  
  
Back at the apartment, Lina was watching a cooking show on tv, desperately trying to make chicken a la mode. She wasn't doing very well. _Is chicken_ _supposed to be black_? she wondered to herself.   
  
Once dinner was served, everyone looked at the blackened chicken and sweat dropped. Whats the matter? Lina asked dangerously. Hey Lina, is chicken supposed to be black? Gourry asked. Her answer consisted of smacking him with the frying pan.   
  
They had been stuck in New York for a week now, and they were adjusting. Lina had figured out that the indoor rainshower was used for bathing. Amelia had discovered the air conditioner...by trial and error. After waking up in the morning to a room that was 50 degrees, she decided that the air conditioner was evil. It was Zelgadis who figured out how to work it and set it to a normal temperature. Lina had also discovered the wonder bra but she wasn't about to tell anybody.  
  
Once dinner was over, they cleaned up and watched tv for a little bit. Lina and Amelia insisted that they watch Friends. It was the episode where Phoebe and her boyfriend got the chicken pox and Monica duct taped oven mitts over their hands. Amelia giggled and said, This is the second time I've heard about chicken pox today. As she continued watching, she began to unconsciously scratch her arms.  
  
Amelia woke up in the morning with a headache. She groaned as she sat up, then stared in shock as she saw her arm. Miss Lina!!! I got the chicken pox!!!! Oh no!!!!! Lina grabbed her head and moaned. Shut up, will you! My head hurts.... she then saw her arm was also covered with little red spots. Ahhh!!!! I got them too!!!!! They itch!!!!!! She instantly began scratching her arms and back. Miss Lina!! Don't scratch them!! You'll only make them worse!  
  
But they _itch_!!!! she wined and kept scratching. MISS LINA!!!  
  
The guys were woken up by muffled cries and loud thumping coming from the next room, so they decided to investigate. They found Amelia and Lina fighting on the floor. Ow...Miss Lina....stop it! I didn't....mean it! Amelia cried as Lina would attack her, then stop to scratch an itch. Gourry put his arm behind his head in confusion, and he saw that he too had chicken pox. Huh, what are these? Lina looked up and saw everyone looking at her (and sweat dropping) as she had Amelia in a headlock. Gourry, you have them too? Lina asked. In fact, the only people who didn't have them was Zelgadis and Xelloss.   
  
So, much to Amelia's insistence (and Lina's displeasure) Lina, Gourry, and Amelia ended up with oven mitts duck taped to their hands. Gourry looked at his mittened hands and said, Are we going to go to work like this? Amelia gasped and said, Oh no!! We have to miss work!!! Lina groaned. Oh great. We have to call in sick. And I'm sure my boss will find some way to blame me for it.... She then grabbed the telephone and tried to push the buttons, but the oven mitt got in the way.   
  
I'm right here, Lina-chan he said, popping out from behind a doorway, you don't have to yell.  
  
I can't dial the phone because Miss Justice Freak over there did this... she held up her hands. That isn't very fair Miss Lina, Amelia said, pouting. Xelloss walked over. Well, I suppose I could help you just this once.... before he could say anything else, Lina had him in a headlock saying something about if he didn't help her she would inflict serious damage, oven mitts or not. Xelloss dialed the phone for Lina, Amelia and Gourry without further complaint. Lina's stomach then growled. She looked dangerously at Xelloss. Well, Lina, I _would_ make breakfast for you, but I really must be going to work, and with that he walked out the door. I'M GOING TO KILL HIM!!! she yelled. Man, Lina. You get really cranky when you're sick, Gourry noted, to which Lina replied by punching him.   
  
Being the only person not wearing oven mitts, Zelgadis was the one who made breakfast. Once it was made, Amelia tried to pick up her fork, but she couldn't get a grip on it. Uh...Mr. Zelgadis..... she said blushing. I am NOT going to feed you! he emphasized. But Mr. Zelgadis!! she cried, holding up her mittened hands. Zelgadis sighed and, blushing, picked up her fork and fed her a bite. Hey Zel, what are you doing? Lina asked, fork in hand and oven mitts on the other side of the room. Zelgadis turned beet red.  
  
Once breakfast was over, Amelia made them replace their oven mitts while Zelgadis went to the store to try and find some calamine lotion. _It's pink_ he reminded himself. He was going from aisle to aisle to try to find pink lotion when he found a pink bottle labeled Johnson's Baby Lotion. He opened it and saw that the lotion was pink, so he shrugged and picked it up. He then went down the last aisle and found two pink bottles side by side. One said Pepto Bismo and the other didn't have a label, but there weren't any others like it on the shelf. He picked up those two as well and paid for them, hoping _one_ of them worked.  
  
He got back to the apartment and gave Amelia the baby lotion to try, Gourry got the Pepto Bismo, and Lina got the un-named bottle (which just happened to be calamine lotion). Needless to say, Lina didn't itch anymore. Gourry came out without a trace of pink on him except for a little trace on his upper lip. Gourry, you do realize you weren't supposed to drink it, right? Gourry said, You weren't? Funny, I don't feel sick to my stomach.... In fact, I don't feel sick at all... he said, to which everybody sweat dropped.   
  
Zelgadis finally got a break once Lina, Gourry, and Amelia had put calamine lotion on and then fell asleep. He was about to take a nap himself when he heard Lina wake up and say, I'm hungry!! And I itch!!!! So, while everyone re-applied calamine lotion, he fixed lunch.  
  
Xelloss walked into the apartment, and was surprised when it was quiet save for the tv. Then he saw Zelgadis and Amelia asleep on one couch and Lina and Gourry sleeping on the other couch. He smiled to himself, then slammed the door behind him, jolting everyone awake. Lina was the first one to get to him and gave him a pretty sound beating. Amelia and Gourry cheered her on. Once Lina was done, Xelloss looked up and saw Zelgadis looming over him. He winced, knowing stone fists would hurt a lot more than Lina's. However, Zelgadis just gave him an evil smile and said, I already called your workplace and told them that you would have to miss work tomorrow to take care of your sick roommates..... The smile the mazoku normally had began to twitch as he thought of what tomorrow would be like....  
  
  
  
So, what do you think? Sorry it took so long, but I got it done. As I've said before, PLEASE REVIEW and tell me if you want me to go on. Also, tell me what you think I'm doing wrong or what I'm doing right!! Thanks again!!!


	4. Be Careful What You Wish For. It Just M...

slayers5

Chapter 5  
  
Be careful what you wish for! It just might come true!  
  


Everyone was lounging about in the living room of the apartments. Bored. They had just eaten and weren't doing anything. Xelloss grabbed the remote and flicked on the TV. "Is there anything good on?" Zelgadis asked. "We are NOT watching the news!" Lina exclaimed, much to Zel's disappointment. Xelloss hit the Sci-Fi network and decided they were going to watch Tales from the Crypt. "This looks interesting." he said cheerfully. The others looked skeptical, but anything was better than the news.   
  
The show ended up being about this woman who got to make a wish and got the one thing she desired most. She got to be a movie star. Well, she got this stalker (this IS Tales of the Crypt mind you) and she kept getting stalked. Her bodyguards would get killed and her car blew up and at the very end, her stalker caught her and killed her.  
  
Lina, Amelia, Gourry and Zelgadis were all staring wide-eyed at the screen after the program ended. "That was VERY interesting" Xelloss said, making everybody jump. "Um, I think I am going to go to bed now..." Amelia said, and everybody else agreed. Soon, everybody was in bed and sleeping restlessly. And this is what they dreamed....  
  
  
Lina woke up slowly and felt very strange. It felt like somebody was sitting on top of her. She opened her eyes ready blast whoever was on her to timbuktu, but she saw nobody on top of her. Instead, she found that she had grown. She had REALLY grown. She hopped out of bed and rushed to the mirror to see if it was true. Seeing her reflection, she was ecstatic. She had breasts!!! And on top of that, they were the same size as Naga's. They were bigger than Naga's!! She couldn't wait to show the others!!  
  
Zelgadis was in Rezo's laboratory searching for a cure. He had looked through every book but this one that was in his hands. As he opened it, he couldn't believe his eyes! This was it!! This was his cure!!! As quickly and carefully as he could, he collected all the ingredients and performed the spell. At first, nothing happened, but then he started to feel all tingly. Then, the tingling stopped. He looked at his hands and didn't recognize them... they were human hands. He ran to the mirror at the back and looked at his reflection. He was human!!! He had normal human hands, a normal human face, normal human hair.... He wasn't a freak anymore!! As he ran his hands over his face and through his hair, he wondered what the others would think....  
  
Amelia looked around the town wondering why things looked so, well, pink. It wasn't that she didn't like it, in fact she liked it a lot, but it was unusual. "Look! It's Amelia!!" someone shouted from a doorway. Suddenly, there were swarms of people around her reciting her justice piece. She was overjoyed that these people were so excited about justice.  
  
Gourry was in his jellyfish costume. It was great. There was food everywhere. It was great. He felt great...... ('nuff said)  
  
Xelloss laughed gleefully as chaos swirled all around him, full of negative feelings. Suddenly, Beastmaster Zelas was there with him. "Clever of you," she said, "to succeed where Hellmaster failed." She laughed, a sound that sent chills down his spine. They laughed together, their laughter becoming chaotic in a chaotic world...  
  
Lina ran out into the living room where she found Amelia, Zelgadis, and Xelloss. Zelgadis, who had been drinking his coffee, saw her and sprayed the coffee he'd been drinking all over the place and just stared at her. Gourry, who'd been eating, saw her and began choking. Zelgadis recovered enough to knock Gourry on the back, dislodging the offending the piece of food. Amelia put her hand to her mouth saying, Miss Lina, while Xelloss just opened his eyes looking amused. Lina smiled. Like them? she asked. Zelgadis muttered, It seems as if I'm not the only freak anymore... Unfortunately, Lina heard him and ran over to hit him, but before she could take a swing at him, her new breasts got in the way and ended up pressed up against Zelgadis' face. They both turned beet red while Lina backed away. The others who had been staring in shock before, looked like they were trying to hold back laughter. What are you looking at! Lina shouted, still blushing. She sat down thinking to herself Looks like I'm going to have to make some adjustments...'  
  
Zelgadis was still looking in the mirror at his new, very human image. Suddenly, from outside the laboratory he heard some crashed that sounded suspiciously like magic being casted. In his euphoria, his brain didn't even register the fact that they weren't in New York anymore. He burst outside and squinted when the sunlight hit his eyes. What he saw astounded him. Lina, Amelia, and Gourry were fighting off.... Zelgadis cursed. Not _another_ copy!' he thought to himself. Sure enough, Kopi Rezo the second was doing his best to demolish Lina, Amelia, and Gourry. Immediately, he cast a Ra-Tilt. However, only a little bit of energy fizzled out of his outstretched hands. His shout, however, had distracted Amelia. She looked at him and a big smile formed on her lips. Mister Zelgadis, you're huma.... but before she could finish, Kopi Rezo II shot a spell at her. She had no time to react and took the full brunt of the powerful spell. Zelgadis cried. He looked at Kopi Rezo. he cast at the copy, but his fireball ended up being the size of a marble. Lina called as she finally noticed he was there, which caused Gourry to look too. Look out! he shouted as he saw Kopi Rezo start a spell, but it was too late. The spell hit both her and Gourry, sending them flying. Zelgadis' heart seemed to stop as the image of his grandfather advanced on him.  
  
Amelia was being led through Justice Village by one of it's justice loving inhabitants. She blushed profusely when they showed her a statue of The Lady of Justice which turned out to be Amelia Wil Tesla Sailune herself. Suddenly, from out in the crowd, a voice shouted out, Lady Amelia, do not allow that unjustful man to lead you astray. Amelia looked puzzled at her tour guide who was looking angrily out at the crowd. Who said that? he demanded. A man walked up to the little processional and said, I did, you thief! Everyone gasped, Amelia included. The man went on to say, This man stole all the forks from my restraunt! The crowd gasped again, louder this time, while Amelia face faulted. she asked, confused. Yes, I stole them, her tour guide stated proudly, because I went to his restraunt and got peas. But, he gave me a spoon to eat them with! The crowd murmered sounds of indignation while Amelia sweat dropped. The tour guide went on to say, He refused to give me a fork! So, in the name of truth, love, and justice, I took all his forks and gave them to all the pea-eaters of the world! and he ended in a classic Justice pose. The accused man bristled with rage. You never asked for a fork! I would have happily given you a fork if you had but asked! But no! You just break into my kitchen and steal all the forks of a justice loving, law abiding citizen!! Half of the crowd agreed with him. Soon, half the crowd was on one side of the statue glaring angrily at the other half. Amelia was smack in the middle and had a huge sweat drop on the back of her head.  
  
Gourry was still in his jellyfish costume. It was great. He had eaten all the food. That wasn't so great. He suddenly found himself surrounded by a bunch of jellyfish demanding to know where their food was.   
  
Xelloss and Zelas were still laughing in the world of chaos that Xelloss had created. Zelas suddenly stopped and got an evil twinkle in her eyes. Now that I have what I want, you have no use to me, she said to Xelloss. Before he could say anything, she snapped her fingers and disappeared only to reappear in Disney World: The Happiest Place on Earth. He tried to teleport, but Zelas had taken that ability from him. He was still a mazoku though, and now he was in mazoku hell.  
  
  
  
To be continued.....Mwhahaha. That was fun to write! Should I keep going? If so, then REVIEW! I would greatly appreciate suggestions as to what should happen next!!! 


	5. Be Careful What You Wish For. It Just M...

slayers55 

Chapter 5 (again)  
  
Be Careful What You Wish For. It Just Might Come True (Part 2)  
  
  
  


Flashback: In the last chapter, Xelloss got everyone to watch a freaky show that caused them to have bad dreams. In Lina's dream, she got breasts, but she found out that they are kinda hard to manage. Zelgadis dreamt he turned human, but now he is a wimp. Amelia had a dream about a village that loved justice, but it started to backfire on itself. Gourry dreamt he was in his jellyfish costume and there was a lot of food, but he ate it all and a bunch of hungry jellyfish are mad at him. Xelloss had a dream too. He dreamed that he had created chaos into the world and Zelas was pleased with him, but then she decided she didn't need him, so she sent him on a one way trip to Disney World.  
  
Lina's stomach growled and she realized that she hadn't eaten breakfast yet. She was about to reach for some eggs, but she saw Gourry, Xelloss, and Zelgadis staring at her breasts through the thin night-shirt she was wearing. She blushed and almost began to hit them, but remembered what happened when she had tried to hit Zelgadis. So instead, she threw her silverware at them and left the table to go change. That was when she realized that her clothes didn't fit. Try as she might, none of her clothes would fit over her new breasts. So, she resigned to search through Amelia's clothes. The only thing she found that would fit was a very bright, very pink shirt. Lina groaned as she saw her reflection, but she couldn't do a thing about it. So, she went back to the kitchen to get breakfast.  
  
Kopi Rezo II looked at Zelgadis with his funny, different colored eyes. Zelgadis would have laughed, if he wasn't staring at the face of death. They stared at each other for what seemed like ages. Suddenly, Kopi Rezo broke out in laughter. You are such a _wimp_!! Zelgadis' jaw dropped. This wasn't how evil clones were supposed to act! You just don't go around calling your grandchildren/great-grandchildren wimps. You know, he's right, Lina said, walking up with an unharmed Gourry and Amelia who nodded in agreement with her.  
  
Amelia stood by the statue of her while one half of the crowd looked angrily at the other half. Someone shouted, Let Princess Amelia decide who is right!! Amelia sweat dropped some more while the crowd shouted in agreement as they formed a tight circle around her. Well, I don't think you should have stolen his forks, she said to her tour guide. But I also don't think you should have called him a thief, she said to the restaurant owner. So you're saying I'm right, right? both men said at the same time. They glared at each other and said, No, _I'm_ right!! Quit that! No, you quit that!! They then lunged at each other and began fighting, which caused the crowd to start fighting while Amelia got caught up in the middle of the fray.  
  
Gourry was in deep water. Literally. Plus, he was surrounded by a bunch of jellyfish that were mad at him for eating their royal banquet. Suddenly, the queen jellyfish appeared. Not only was she furious, but to make matters worse, she had Gourry's Sword of Light. Hey! That's mine!! he shouted, but since he was underwater, it came out as Glurb! Blarhg Mnfhp! That was when Gourry realized three important facts: he was underwater, he wasn't a jellyfish (he only looked like one), and he couldn't breathe.  
  
Xelloss felt sick. He had tried to catch some negative feelings from people on rides like Space Mountain. While they were on the ride, they sent out feelings of being scared, but as soon as they got off, they were always happy, so that didn't do Xelloss any good. He sat down on a bench and started rubbing his temples when he heard little voices calling out, Unca Xelly!!! He looked up and saw Beastmaster Zelas with a huge grin on her face leading Lina, Gourry, Amelia, and Zelgadis up to him. That wouldn't have been a bad thing if Zelas hadn't turned them into 6 year olds. Lina and Amelia ran up to him and grabbed his hands saying, Come on Unca Xelly!! Lets ride the rides!! Zelas said, Make sure they don't get into any trouble. Remember, I have big plans for them. With that, she disappeared, leaving Xelloss worse off than before.  
  
Lina got back to the table and was about to dig into breakfast when she noticed the guys looking at her again. What!?! Have you never seen breasts before?? That was too much, and the guys started laughing. Even Amelia joined in. Lina's face got really red and she grew her little fangs. She then shouted, Even though this was a dream, she still couldn't use her powers. She almost got angrier, but then her stomach growled again. She picked up her silverware and tried to eat something, but her breasts got in the way. Try as she might, she could not get any food, which only made her friends laugh harder. she cried.  
  
Zelgadis is a wimp, Zelgadis is a wimp.... is what Lina, Gourry, Amelia, and Kopi Rezo II shouted at him in a singsong way. I am not!! he growled. Lina made a mock look of horror and said, Oh no, what are you going to do? Fireball me? I'm sooo scared! Lina suddenly got an evil look on her face and said, Now that you aren't made of stone, I can hit you for all the times you've made fun of me! Zelgadis gulped. She started to advance on him, but Kopi Rezo stopped her. I can think of an even better punishment, he said, then he whispered something in her ear. She smiled and then told Amelia and Gourry to help make a circle around him. Then, she and Kopi Rezo started an incantation. Zelgadis realized what it was, but it was too late. He passed out as the spell overtook him. When he woke up, he looked at his hands and wasn't surprised that they were made of stone again. Oh look, he's awake! somebody said. That was when Zelgadis realized he was being watched by people behind a glass wall. He then heard Lina call out, Hurry, hurry, step right up to our amazing freak show, home of Zelgadis Greywers, the stone freak. Zelgadis cried out,   
  
Stop it!! Stop fighting!! Amelia cried out, to no avail. Amelia levitated onto her statue and shouted, STOP IT!!!!!!!!! The crowd looked up at her and sweatdropped. The two men who had started the whole thing saw this and said, Hey!! She could have used her magic to solve this, but she didn't. She wanted us to fight all along!! GET HER!!!! Amelia tried to argue, but the crowd began to push the statue down. Being the graceful person she was, she fell flat on her face. She had just enough time to cast a Ray Wing before the crowd was upon her. As she watched her statue fall to the ground and crumble, she cried,   
  
Gourry was frantically trying to swim to the surface to catch a breath. It didn't help that the queen was behind him, poking at him with his Sword of Light. He had just gotten to where he could see the surface when the queen grabbed onto his leg with her tentacles. He cried out, but it came out as,   
  
Xelloss' head was spinning. He had been standing in line to meet Mickey Mouse for the past hour with the Slayers brats. Once they got his autograph, they went to ride more rides. Xelloss could barely stand, so Gourry ended up leading him. They all got on a ride and Xelloss fervently hoped it was something scary. The ride started moving and he began to hear a faint tune. No, dear gods, no.... he muttered to himself. Soon, all that could be heard was, It's a small world after all, it's a small world after all, it's a small world after all, it's a small small world. It was so loud that it drowned out Xelloss screaming,   
  
Everyone woke up with a start and sat straight up in bed. Since it was dark, no one realized that everyone had woken up at the same time. They all felt rather disturbed, but they all managed to go back to sleep and had forgotten everything by morning.  
  
  
  
  
Wow....I'm really sorry that took soooo long. I hope it lived up to your expectations. I didn't know what you guys wanted since nobody gave me any ideas. As before, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!   
  
  
  
  


  



	6. Gourry's First Date! Who's Tagging Alon...

Hey! Sorry it's been such a long time since I've updated this story. I hope you enjoy it!  


  
  
Chap 6  
  
Gourry's First Date! Who's tagging along with who?  
  
  


It was a normal day for Gourry at work. He _loved_ working at a fast food place where he could eat every other burger that he cooked. And he never got tired of burgers! He also liked the fries, but he never got them out of the fryer. Not since that incident on his first day of work....who knew that grease was hot? And recently, his manager Stacy had been giving him a lot of extra breaks. He thought she was very nice. Hey, Gourry! she called, breaking him out of his reverie.   
  
Want to take a lunch break right now? He smiled at her and said, Sure, just let me make some burgers for my break. She rolled her eyes. Don't you ever get tired of hamburgers? He thought for a second, then said,   
  
A few minutes later, they were sitting at a table, Gourry happily eating his hamburgers and Stacy smiling at him. All of a sudden, Stacy just started giggling. Gourry looked confused and asked her what was so funny. She blushed and said, Gourry shrugged and continued eating. Once he finished, Stacy blushed again and cleared her throat. Hey, are you busy tonight? she asked. Gourry thought for a second before saying no. Still blushing, Stacy asked, Would you like to go out on a date? Gourry blinked, not sure what a date was. Um, sure! he said. Stacy squealed with delight and then set up a date to the movies. She decided that she would pick him up from his apartment at 8pm.  
  
Once Gourry got back to the apartment, he found Lina making dinner. She had long since given up on the stove and had a bunch of microwave dinners out. Hey Lina?  
  
What is it now?  
  
Do you know what a date is?   
  
A what?   
  
A date! he yelled over the sound of the microwave, which had unfortunately just shut off as he yelled. Lina massaged her ears as she said, Nope, can't help you. Gourry looked disappointed. Lina asked. Because I'm going on one with my manager Stacy. We're going to the movies. Lina perked up. Hey, that sounds like fun! I want to come! Gourry smiled and said, Hey, I bet Stacy won't mind. She's really nice! Lina groaned. Next thing you'll tell me is that she's a good cook...  
  
Stacy walked up the stairs happy and whistling a popular tune. She got to the apartment and knocked on the door, and blushed when Gourry answered. You look hot, he said (to which she blushed even more), want to come in and get some water? She turned beet red when she realized that he was being literal. Just then, Lina popped up and introduced herself. Gourry said, It is alright if she comes along, isn't it? Stacy was shocked. Then she remembered that he was foreign and that they may do things differently in...well...wherever he was from. Um...I guess... she said hesitantly. Lina answered.   
  
Soon enough, they were all on their way to the theater, Stacy leading. She was beginning to feel like a proverbial 3rd wheel as Lina and Gourry talked about things like some freaky hellmaster whose name sounded like Febreeze, a sword that lit up or something, and a race of monsters. _Gee, they really aren't from around here. That or they watch too many cartoons, which wouldn't surprise me knowing Gourry_, Stacy thought to herself. They were talking about the sword again when Stacy piped up, Hey, have either of you seen the new Star Wars movie? They have lightsabers in them that sound kind of like this sword you keep mentioning.  
  
Light say-bur? Gourry repeated slowly.  
  
Lina looked at Stacy greedily. So you say a lightsaber is like Gourry's Sword of Light? When Stacy nodded, Lina asked, So, can we get one here in New York? Stacy looked confused and said, I think they have some at the toy store... and before she could finish her sentence, the two of them had left her in the dust as they rushed off to the toy store. Humph, I guess that's gratitude for ya... she said.  
  
Lina and Gourry rushed into the store and attacked the sales clerk. WE NEED A LIGHTSABER!! they said in unison. Aisle 3 the sales clerk said dazed.  
  
They got to the aisle and plowed through the toys until they finally found what they were looking for. I got it!! Gourry exclaimed, holding the toy lightsaber up. The blade wasn't extended (it was sealed in the hilt) so all they could see was the hilt. Well, call forth it's power, Lina said.  
  
Gourry asked scratching his head.  
  
How should I know? Call it like you called the Sword of Light.  
  
Gourry thought for a second.  
  
Well, what are you waiting for?  
  
How did I call my Sword of Light? he asked. Lina facefaulted. Light come forth, she said from the ground. Gourry's face lit up. Oh yeah! Light come forth! he commanded.   
  
Nothing happened.  
  
Umm, light come forth? Still nothing. Come out come out wherever you are? Not even a flicker came from the hilt. Lina grabbed it and started shaking it. Come out here you stupid light!! While Lina shook it and tried more incantations, Gourry said, Why don't we go see how they do it in the movie Stacy talked about? Lina was out the door in a heartbeat. Hey Lina, wait for me!! Gourry yelled after her.   
  
Stacy, meanwhile, had decided to go see Star Wars Episode II to make up for her failed date. The previews were just ending when two figures walked in under a pile of popcorn. _Don't sit next to me, don't sit next to me_ Stacy though. And of course, they sat right next to her. Hey Stacy! the person said from under the popcorn. Stacy asked, and smiled when Gourry peeked out from behind the popcorn. Someone behind them said, Shh, the movie's starting!  
  
Once the movie was over, Lina and Gourry were as frustrated as ever. Why won't our work like theirs? Lina whined. Because it's taped shut, Stacy said, and took the lighsaber from Lina, peeled the wrapping off of it and handed it to Gourry. He just looked at it, so Stacy grabbed his hand and jerked it so that the lightsaber extended. Ooooh! Neat! Gourry said, while Lina face faulted.   
Thats it? Thats a lightsaber?  
Well, it is just a toy. Stacy said.  
How do we get one's like in the movie? Gourry asked, still inthralled with his fake lightsaber. Those aren't real silly! They're just special effects.  
  
Lina just groaned from the floor.  
  
Soon, they were all out of the theater and back to the Slayer's apartment. Lina stormed inside while Gourry said goodbye to Stacy. Hey, thanks for the date, was all he said as he walked inside, proudly wielding his new toy. Stacy blinked back a few tears, then decided he wasn't worth crying over, men were all pigs, and she was alone in the world. She went home to go immerse herself in chocolate and watch chick flicks all night.  
  
  
As always, PLEASE REVIEW!!! I really enjoy hearing what you think!   



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